Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist

Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist
Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Md Troopers Assoc #20 & Westminster Md Fire Dept Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist

Monday, September 25, 2000

20000925 Ord 638 Neighborhood Commercial Zone My Thoughts

Ord 638 Neighborhood Commercial Zone My Thoughts

Internal Memo to file - I don't think that I ever mailed it out to anyone….

Ord 638 Neighborhood Commercial Zone My Thoughts

September 25, 2000

Re: Ordinance #638 Adopted by the Westminster City Council on September 25, 2000 which established a Neighborhood Commercial Zone by enacting Text Amendment TA99-1 (Section 164-8 of Chapter 164 of the Westminster City Code).

My Thoughts on the Neighborhood Commercial Zone (Ordinance #638) adopted by the Westminster City Council on September 25th, 2000

I grew up in Westminster (and just outside of Westminster) within walking distance of commercial and industrial employment. Many of my neighbors in my old neighborhood walked to work.

I believe that now more than ever is the appropriate time for the City of Westminster to get away from Euclidean zoning. Born in 1927/1928, Euclidean zoning is 70 years old and really showing its age. This old tired cookie-cutter compartmentalization approach to zoning is causing communities such a Westminster environmental problems, revenue stream problems, quality of life problems and progressive congestive heart disease.

I am a strong proponent of floating zones. Whereas a property can only be re-zoned in the Euclidean zoning approach upon a finding of change or mistake, floating zones can be implemented by elected officials upon a finding of compatibility with a purpose clause accompanied by a development plan.

It is possible to develop commercial and industrial tax base next to existing residential development with very high design and architectural standards that I suggest to you will raise the value of the adjoining residential development. I have toured many such developments in Baltimore, Montgomery and Calvert Counties.

The solution to pollution is dilution. I think it is absolutely absurd to have to drive all the way out to Route 140 to get a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk or pick up a pizza. This is the result of 33 years of Euclidean zoning in the City of Westminster (as zoning was only adopted as a management tool in 1967 for the City of Westminster).

I think that it is extremely important to thank everyone so much for their meaningful participation in the debate about the Neighborhood Commercial Zone.

I think the mark of a successful person is the ability to make the difficult decision. I also believe that it is necessary to collaborate with other meaningful players in an attempt to arrive at conclusions that have the best of the greater common good of the community in mind.

This legislation is a result of a collaborative effort with Damian and Greg, Ed and Suzanne, Ken, the GWDC, the P&Z Commission, many citizens who took the time to give me feedback – pro and con, in a pleasant and rewarding manner - and the Citizens Advisory Group.

I cannot say publicly how uncomfortable I am with the 55,000 square foot component to this legislation. My reconciliation is that anything over 5 acres is really a commercial development anyway and I want to have the opportunity to perpetuate the highest in architectural and design standards to such commercial developments. It is important to me that the text be changed so that it be a floating zone and not tied to the Comprehensive plan but could be applied to a property based upon merit, not change or mistake.

I have labored and labored, and studied and studied, and argued and argued for this Neighborhood Convenience approach for 15 years. It is time to give it a chance to succeed or fail in the real world rather than the intellectual or conceptual world.

Along that line of thought - I'm never reticent to make a mistake – admit it and address the mistake later. Often we can learn more from failure than we can by success. Abraham Lincoln lost 7 elections before he was elected President in 1860. Failure is not fatal…should be part of the education process. Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times. “Democracy means government by discussion but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.” CLEMENT ATTLEE, Anatomy of Britain (1962).

After 15 years of debate, study and analysis, I felt it was critical that we make a decision and move forward. We are on the cutting edge of re-defining the future of zoning – and our community. A future of non-Euclidean zoning that will hopefully bring back grocers and shops into our neighborhoods as it was in the Westminster where I grew up.

Interestingly, contemporary zoning and planning will not allow us to re-create the very communities that gave us our current success and high quality of life. There are going to be some bumps along the road, some disputes and a lot of dialogue. What is important is that we keep talking in a friendly, constructive and productive manner and move forward.

If I had voted against this, it would have killed this issue and this opportunity. It would have died of exhaustion. I would have lost my opportunity to see to fruition a zoning approach other than Euclidean and I would have lost my attempt at changing the municipal cityscape to a more family oriented, family friendly, Neighborhood Convenience approach. An approach that made this community what it is today.

Why people believe that they can promote their agenda or further their cause by being as excruciatingly unpleasant is beyond me! If someone really cares about a particular issue and is polite and pleasant in their discussion - I will listen! - and hopefully learn. I'm always willing to go in what ever the direction that is required, that is in the greater best interest of the greatest number of people in my community.

As always, your thoughtful consideration is appreciated regardless of the outcome on any particular issue. As usual, whether you agree or disagree with me, always find my door open for constructive dialogue.

Best regards

Kevin E. Dayhoff
Westminster City Councilman

Friday, September 22, 2000

20000427 Carroll County Chapter MML Meeting at Union Bridge

20000427 Carroll County Chapter MML Meeting at Union Bridge

Carroll County Chapter

Maryland Municipal League Meeting

April 27, 2000


Union Bridge Community Center

4770 Ladiesburg Road

Union Bridge, Maryland

6:00 p.m. Social hour

7:00 p.m. Welcome by Mayor Perry Jones

Pledge to the Flag

Invocation by New Windsor Councilmember Becky Harman


There were 22 in attendance:

Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine, City Councilmembers Jackie Boisvert and Jim McCarron, City Manager Chip Boyles, and Master Municipal Clerk Linda Hess,

New Windsor Mayor Jay Gullo, Councilmembers Becky Harman, Ronnie Blacksten, and Neil Roop

Westminster City Council Member Kevin Dayhoff,

Sykesville Mayor Jonathan Herman, Councilmembers Debby Ellis and Jeannie Nichols,

Mt. Airy Mayor Jerry Johnson

Union Bridge Mayor Perry Jones, Councilmembers Karen Kotarski, Kathy Kriemer and Don Wilson, Town Clerk Violet Hobb,

Manchester Councilmember Mary Minderlein,

Hampstead was not represented.

Maryland Municipal League Director of Research and Information Management Jim Peck, E3 Energy Services, LLC Principal Christopher Cook, Esq.,

Electric Deregulation – Chris Cook. Mr. Cook is a Principal with E3 Energy Service LLC. Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine introduced him. Mr. Cook gave us an overview on the restructured electric industry; bulk purchasing, municipal pooling, municipal aggregation, Carnegie Morgan/ Baltimore City pooling effort, State of Maryland Pool, and BGE price freeze service.

Carroll County Chapter MML Representation to EAAB. There was a presentation by Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff on the history and present status of the Carroll County Environmental Affairs Advisory Board (EAAB). It was moved by Taneytown Councilmember Jim McCarron, seconded by New Windsor Councilmember Neil Roop that each municipality present will consult with our respective municipal councils and see if someone will step forward to be a representative to the EAAB. The motion was carried.

Carroll County Chapter MML Representation to EDC. It was discussed that currently, Hampstead Mayor Chris Nevin and Sykesville Town Manager Matt Candland represent the Carroll County Chapter of the MML with the Economic Development Commission (EDC). It was further decided that Mayor Nevin and Mr. Candland will be consulted to see if they wish to continue in that capacity. Taneytown City Manager Chip Boyles and Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff were selected as replacements if either Mayor Nevin or Mr. Candland do not wish to serve.

Election of Officers.

President: Mt. Airy Mayor Jerry Johnson

Vice President: Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine

Secretary/Treasurer: Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff

Treasurer's Report. Secretary/Treasurer Kevin Dayhoff reported that there is $2,605.40 in the checking account.

Dues: There was some discussion as to whether or not to levy dues from each municipality. If was decided that there would be no dues levied at this time. That the Treasury had enough money in it and it was purposeless to collect money simply for the sake of collecting money.

MML Scholarship Levy: It was discussed that the $2,500 needed for the MML academic scholarship was funded: $1,000 from the MML's statewide office and $1,500 raised from the County Chapter's coffers. It was decided that we would levy each Carroll County town a percentage portion of the $1,500. Mr. Dayhoff asked if it would be acceptable to simply use the formula developed by Sykesville Town Manager Matt Candland in his January 17, 2000 Carroll County Census Committee budget. That was accepted.

Carroll County Municipal Population Percentages (January 17, 2000)

April 27, 2000 Carroll County Chapter MML Scholarship Award Levy

Pro rata share

Mt. Airy (Carroll only)



$ 117.75




$ 638.54




$ 179.74

Union Bridge



$ 43.37




$ 142.55

New Windsor



$ 49.57




$ 130.15




$ 198.33

Municipal Total



$ 1,500.00

Carroll County


Grand total


Communications Committee Report: Taneytown City Councilmember Jim McCarron presented the upcoming unveiling of the MML's new book, Maryland's 157, in Annapolis May 5, 2000. He also discussed Arbor Day and Municipal Week.

MML Time – MML Director of Research and Information Management Jim Peck. Mr. Peck discussed the MML Board of Directors Member at Large election at the MML Summer Convention in Ocean City on June 13, 2000.

He also discussed Senate Bill 626 and House Bill 1309: Truth in Taxation – Real Estate Property Tax Assessments.

MML League President Jay Gullo: President Gullo presented Certificates of Appreciation to:

Taneytown City Councilmember Jim McCarron – Communication Committee

Taneytown City Manager Chip Boyles – Communications Committee

Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine – Convention Planning Committee

Taneytown City Councilmember Jackie Boisvert – Convention Planning Committee

Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff – Legislative Committee

Union Bridge City Councilmember Karen Kotarski – Elections Committee

Union Bridge Mayor Perry Jones – District Vice President

Sunday, September 17, 2000

20000900 Humor in the Hebrew Bible by Hershey H. Friedman

20000900 Humor in the Hebrew Bible by Hershey H. Friedman

This paper appeared in Humor: International Journal of Humor Research, Vol. 13:3, Sept. 2000, 258-285. ©2000

Humor in the Hebrew Bible
By Hershey H. Friedman, Ph.D.
Professor of Business and Marketing
Bernard H. Stern Professor of Humor 1997-1999
Brooklyn College of the City University of New York
x.friedman AT

This paper demonstrates that the Hebrew Bible contains much humor, albeit mainly subtle and much of it requiring a knowledge of the original language of the Bible, Hebrew. The purpose of this article is not to exhaustively enumerate all instances of humor in the Bible but, rather, to demonstrate that humor permeates the Holy Scriptures. The humorous verses and situations collected in this paper are characterized as belonging to one of the following categories of humor: sarcasm, irony, wordplay, humorous names, humorous imagery and exaggeration, and humorous situations. An examination of the collection in this paper makes evident at least one important purpose of this humor: Humor brings God closer to humankind. For instance, God seems more understandable and less aloof when he is sarcastic. We mortals note that even omniscience and omnipotence do not prevent one from being hurt by straying children. Humorous stories and exaggerations make the moral lessons of the Hebrew Bible more memorable, and the irony behind punishments that are "measure for measure" hints at a world in which justice does truly prevail.

Humor in the Hebrew Bible

Many individuals believe that the Bible, in particular the Hebrew Bible, is without any humor. For example, Alfred North Whitehead was of the opinion that there is no humor in the Old Testament. He claimed that "the total absence of humour from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all of literature" (Price 1954: 199). Whitehead attributed the humorlessness of the Bible to the fact that the ancient Jews were a "depressed people" because of their situation, i.e., continually attacked and overrun by foreign powers. Others, such as Knox (1969), claim that there is much humor in the Hebrew Bible, although it consists mainly of irony. Knox points out that the prophets, in particular, used irony to warn the Jews against the "allurements of pagan civilization." Jemielty (1992) demonstrates that Hebrew prophecy makes use of satire. A major purpose of the satire and sarcasm was to ridicule the evildoer and idolater. Bonham (1988: 38-51) also feels that examining the Bible proves that "God has a sense of humor." Jonsson (1985: 41-50) rejects the opinion that there is no humor in the Hebrew Bible and discusses several examples of Biblical humor, e.g., the story of Jacob and Laban.

There are many different types of humor. These include: puns, wordplays, riddles, jokes, satires, lampoons, sarcasm, irony, wit, black humor, comedy, slapstick, farce, burlesques, caricatures, parody, and travesty. The differences among these different humor types is not always great. In particular, burlesque, caricature, parody, and travesty are very much alike and refer to literary or dramatic works that mimic serious works in order to achieve a humorous or satiric effect. Likewise, the difference between satire and lampoon is not that great. The bottom line is that humor has the ability to make people laugh, smile, or chuckle, at least inwardly. Perhaps it does the same for a divine being.

The idea that even God laughs is mentioned several times in Psalms. In Psalms (2:4), the Psalmist says: "He who sits in heaven will laugh, the Lord will mock them." In Psalms (37:13): "My Lord laughs at him for He sees that his day is coming." In Psalms (59:9): "But as for You, God, You laugh at them; You mock all nations." These verses all indicate that one day the Lord will laugh at evildoers. Of course, the type of laughter described here is not a happy, fun-loving laugh, but a sarcastic, derisive one. The Psalmist is describing a contemptuous, sardonic laugh aimed at the wicked who do not realize the futility of their plots if God does not approve.

Jewish tradition (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 14b) organizes the Hebrew Scriptures into three categories of the canon. The Five Books of Moses, also called the Pentateuch or the Torah, are Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The Prophets consists of eight books, including Joshua, Judges, Samuel, Kings, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Isaiah, and the Twelve Minor Prophets (e.g., Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi). The Writings is comprised of eleven books, including Ruth, Psalms, Job, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Lamentations, Daniel, Esther, Ezra (and Nehemiah), and Chronicles.

The Hebrew Bible employs many sorts of humor, but its purpose is not to entertain. The major goal of the Hebrew Bible is to teach humanity how to live the ideal life. Much of the humor found in the Hebrew Bible has a purpose: To demonstrate that evil is wrong and even ludicrous, at times. The punishments meted out to wrongdoers are often designed to mock them and to hoist them by their own petards.

This paper will demonstrate that the Hebrew Bible contains much humor, albeit mainly subtle and much of it requiring a knowledge of the original language of the Bible, Hebrew. The purpose of this article is not to exhaustively enumerate all instances of humor in the Bible but, rather, to demonstrate that humor permeates the Holy Scriptures. The humorous verses and situations collected in this paper are characterized as belonging to one of several broad categories of humor: sarcasm, irony, wordplay, humorous names, humorous imagery, and humorous situations.

Read the entire paper here: Humor in the Hebrew Bible by Hershey H. Friedman

Tuesday, September 05, 2000

20000904 Cardboard Clergy

Cardboard Clergy

E-mailed to me September 4th, 2000

Dear Sirs,

We are sure you have come across our extremely successful products. We make cardboard police cars to discourage speeding and cardboard security men to deter shoplifters and other standard lines. Following the success of these, we are pleased to announce the introduction of our latest line in cardboard clergy.


The cardboard Parish Priest is invaluable to the hard-pressed clergy who need a holiday. It is life sized, made to measure and comes in traditional (pre - Vatican 2), progressive, and middle of the road models. It is especially effective when stood in the pulpit or at the lectern.

Field trials have shown that when the cardboard PP is installed without the congregation knowing, 40% of those later questioned had noticed no difference, while 25% thought there had been a considerable improvement. The rest said they had slept through the homily as usual.


The cardboard Bishop will be available soon. It can be placed anywhere in a diocese while the real Bishop is away in Rome or elsewhere at a meeting, or just on holiday. Trial models have been installed here and there for some time with great success, so much so in one case, when the real Bishop returned unexpectedly, there were rumours he had developed powers of bi-location.

Work on the cardboard Canon and Monsignor models has been abandoned since market research demonstrated that no one actually wanted the real thing, so there would be little demand for a cardboard substitute.

However, our cardboard congregation is another matter and is now selling well in view of falling Mass attendance. Its response to homilies is indistinguishable from the real thing and it has the positive advantage that when volunteers are asked for, nobody makes a dash for the door. In some churches there has been a marked improvement in the singing.

We commend our quality products for your consideration and hope we can be of assistance to you and your Parish.

Yours sincerely,

Justin Jest -Managing Director.


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