Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist

Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist
Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Md Troopers Assoc #20 & Westminster Md Fire Dept Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist
Showing posts with label Humor Westminster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor Westminster. Show all posts

Monday, November 24, 2008

“Munchie run” by a Salisbury University student from Westminster leads to MTV infamy


“Munchie run” by a Salisbury University student from Westminster leads to MTV infamy

Lindsey Staymates, 20, of Westminster, talks to Deputy First Class Rob Parker of Wicomico County Sheriff’s Office near Salisbury University. Staymates’ appearance on the MTV show “Busted” garnered her the dubious distinction of “Miss Busted 2008.” ((Photo courtesy MTV))

November 23, 2008

Score another great story by talented Explore Carroll writer Charles Schelle. If you are not reading Mr. Schelle’s stuff on http://www.explorecarroll.com/, you’re missing out…


First the video that Mr. Schelle found:

Munchie Run

After receiving a DUI just two days earlier, a 19-year Lindsay is again stopped by an officer, this time for underage drinking while walking.



Now Mr. Schelle’s article in the Sunday Carroll Eagle:


'Munchie run' gone bad leads to MTV infamy

Westminster native 'Busted' on reality TV By Charles Schelle
schelle@patuxent.com Posted on www.explorecarroll.com 11/23/08


Lindsey Staymates of Westminster was just "walking on the feet" to the "hungry store."

But she wound up on MTV with a ticket from police. Now, she's Miss Busted 2008.

"I actually don't regret it all," said Staymates, 20, a sophomore at Salisbury University. "I just see it as another life event."

Staymates received nationwide attention for her comical, yet eye-opening, appearance on the MTV show "Busted." The show is a sort of "Cops" for a younger generation, featuring footage of crimes committed by 17- to 25-year-olds and the consequences they face. In Staymates case, she says she was starving on May 11 after a night of drinking and headed to Hardee's. But after being previously cited for driving under the influence, she decided to jog to Hardee's.

That's when Deputy First Class Rob Parker of the Wicomico Sheriff's Office -- and an MTV crew -- spotted her.

The deputy performed a preliminary breath test, and Staymates blew a .16, twice the legal limit if you're 21. (The legal limit for people under 21 in Maryland is .00.)

But Staymates didn't see what was wrong with jogging to Hardee's, even if she was drunk.

"I was walking ... on the feet!" she told Parker in a plea that started her 15 minutes of fame. "I was hungry! ... I'm like, 'I'm walking to the ... hungry store!' "


Today, in retrospect, Staymates said she wasn't sure what would come out of the episode, mostly because she's not sure what happened.

"I didn't have any idea of what I said," she admits.

But suddenly, people recognized the Westminster High School graduate at Salisbury -- and back home in Westminster.


[...]

Read the entire article by Mr. Schelle here: 'Munchie run' gone bad leads to MTV infamy

http://explorecarroll.com/news/1628/munchie-run-gone-bad-leads-mtv-infamy/

20081123 Munchie run by Wster Sbury U student leads to MTV infamy

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

20070220 How bad was last week’s snowstorm


How bad was last week’s snowstorm in Westminster Maryland?

Daily Photoblog: February 20th, 2007

While I was in Key West Florida last week, I would call the Westminster Street Department and Carroll County PIO, Vivian Laxton, W.A.B. as often as possible and raze them that I was in 90-degree weather and they were in temperatures in the single digits.

They were in the ice and the snow at all hours of the night and day, plowing snow and chipping ice and I was sitting on my back balcony strategically positioned with my laptop overlooking the Caribbean Sea.

They vowed to get me back.

Well, they did.

Pictured above is the igloo they made of my house with tons of snow which greeted me upon my arrival late Monday afternoon, February 19th, 2007.

Not to worry. I simply went inside and made a fresh cup of tea, hooked up the laptop and raised my office window just far enough that did not let too much cold air into the house, but my wife could still hear me as I cheered her on - - while she shoveled us out.

Man ole’ man was it hard work watching my wife do all that shoveling. Oh – she was happy to do it. You see, for Valentine’s Day I had purchased her a new snow shovel.

My wife is super. I’ll think I’ll keep her.

As for the Westminster Street Department; oh, I’ll get them back. Journalists in the print media may purchase ink by the barrel, but bloggers have an infinite amount of “ones” and “zeros” at their disposal. And me, I have the ink and the 1s and 0s.

Kevin
02/20/2007

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

20060822 Defiant mannequin arrested claims - self defense



Defiant mannequin arrested claims - self defense

Westminster, California

August 22, 2006

By Kant Betrue, Rhoiders

Chaos ensued in a local J.C. Penney Co. store recently when a rouge mannequin attacked a hapless shopper looking for the right blouse.

Police were called and sources close to the incident have reported that a mannequin was arrested at the scene and hauled off in handcuffs.

Defiant throughout the ordeal, the mannequin, (who may or may not be an android,) latter identified as Mrs. Roberto Caricature, said that she was only acting in self-defense.

The Department of Homeland Defense immediately raised the national threat level to a soft yellow-orange crèmesicle, for possible mannequin uprising activity.

According to published accounts, Mrs. Innocent Civilian, 51, “said she was ambushed by a legless female mannequin at the company's Westminster Mall store, a skirmish that left her with a bloodied scalp, a cracked tooth, recurring shoulder pain and numbness in her fingers.”

The Associated Press reports, Ms. Civilian “said the incident happened… in the women's department, as she was shopping for a blouse. The only one in her size was on the mannequin. As a salesclerk was removing the garment, the dummy's arm flew off and struck” Ms. Civilian in the head…

Ms. Civilian, of Westminster, (no relation to Isaac or Fig,) remarked that since the alleged “run-in with a store mannequin,” she has been traumatized by the incident and “something must be done with the rampant abuse of shoppers at the hands of lawless mannequins.”

The Los Angels Times reports, the “alleged attack was the latest in a string of mannequin mayhem incidents nationwide.

"There are a slew of lawsuits like this," said mannequin manufacturer Barry Rosenberg, who joked that stores should run background checks on dummies before letting them mingle with shoppers.

“Most of the cases involved mannequins toppling over onto customers, but an Indiana woman claimed she caught herpes from the lips of a CPR training dummy. She dropped her lawsuit against the American Red Cross in 2000 after further tests revealed that she didn't have the disease, according to news reports.”

Meanwhile, the mannequin, Mrs. Roberto Caricature, claims self-defense.

Seems the mannequin had a bad childhood. It wasn’t her fault.

Ms. Caricature explained loudly as she was lead away in handcuffs, that she was particular modest and had “tired of folks just taking her clothes off in public and leaving her exposed.”

“I have my rights,” she extolled, according to police reports. “People just walk to us mannequins all the time and fondle and ogle us. It’s not right I tell ya. It’s not right.”

"'My mom got beat up by a mannequin' was the joke around my house, "Ms. Civilian said.

For Mrs. Caricature, it is not a laughing matter. “Mannequins across the land are demanding our rights. We’re tired of being victimized.”

Mrs. Caricature, who claims to be an “adroidaquin,” the child of a marriage between an android and a mannequin, claims that she is tired of the abuse. “We dream of electric sheep too,” she elaborated.

The Los Angeles Times, for which it has long been suspected of being run by mindless, stateless androids, agreed. (There are no American flags in front of the building…)

“Getting roughed up by a dummy isn't a slapstick affair. The fiberglass figures can weigh as much as 100 pounds, said Rosenberg, chief executive of Mondo Mannequins in Hicksville, N.Y.

“He added that his company had been named in numerous lawsuits by retailers who themselves have been sued over dummy-related injuries.

“Mannequin maulings and litigation aren't new. In 1990, a Florida woman collected $175,000 after a faceless Macy's dummy fell onto her neck and reportedly injured a disc.

“In 1993, a Minnesota woman was knocked unconscious by a falling mannequin at a Dayton's department store, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune. She needed five stitches and several chiropractic sessions to recover but didn't sue.

“And in 2001, a Canadian shopper in Vancouver won a $330,000 verdict after a Gap store mannequin landed on her head. Elizabeth Ball was apparently jinxed when it came to store displays. A few years earlier, while shopping at a lighting store, she was beaned by a falling chandelier, according to the Canadian Press.”

####

Thursday, August 17, 2006

20060816 Vota for Mona

20060816 Vota for Mona

Thursday, August 17, 2006


“Vota for Moana”

© Kevin Dayhoff

August 16th, 2006


This is the season for signs.

Recently your intrepid blogger found this group of signs at Main Street and the railroad tracks in Westminster MD.

Mystery surrounds just what Ms. Mona Lisa is running for.

In a related matter, we asked Westminster’s administrator of economic development, Stanta Ruchlewicz, about the economic impact of the Carroll County election season. “Well, ya know, it brings dollars into downtown Westminster,” remarked Mr. Ruchlewicz. “Recently it is about the only thing that’s happening in these parts.”

Asked if he knew just what office Ms. Lisa was running for, Mr. Ruchlewicz responded, “Don’t know. Don’t really care as long as the mysterious sign brings money into Westminster. It’s kinda neat, if I may say so myself.”

Jeff Glass, Westminster’s assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, utilities maintenance and the soundtrack division of old silent movies said, “It’s like a Norman Rockwell moment. America at its best.”

Asked how long the sign for Ms. Lisa has been at the intersection, “Don’t know. Been kinda busy recently,” remarked the assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, fleet management, kite flying, road sign, grass clippings removal, utilities maintenance and the soundtrack division of old silent movies.

Marianne Sheehan, the administrative assistant for the assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, fleet management, kite flying, road sign, grass clippings removal, utilities maintenance, letters and art, heavy metal music and the soundtrack division of old silent movies, remarked that the sign “looked good in that location and that it went well with the overall ambiance of downtown Westminster.”

Wayne Reifsnider, the assistant superintendent for streets, buildings, and parks said, “Well, ya know… Well, it’s a free country and people have a right to put up signs on private property, ya know. But I don’t know, ya know. Then on the other hand, well, ya know, it’s a neat sign and I just do my job. Mind my own business, ya know. Well, I best be moving along. See ya.”

More on this developing story as it unravels.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA. E-mail him at: kevindayhoff AT gmail.com www.thetentacle.com Westminster Eagle Opinion and Winchester Report www.thewestminstereagle.com www.kevindayhoff.com has moved to http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/


Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: www.kevindayhoff.net Kevin Dayhoff Art: www.kevindayhoffart.com Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: www.westgov.net Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/kevindayhoff Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1040426835

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

20050427 Exploding Councilmembers Baffle Political Scientists

Exploding Councilmembers Baffle Political Scientists

Annapolis, Maryland, April 27, 2005

Kant Betrue[1], Staff Reporter,

New Bedford Herald - Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle – All The News that is Unfit to Print

(Rhoiders) More than 100 councilmembers have puffed up and exploded in Maryland in recent weeks, and scientists still have no explanation for what's causing the instantaneous combustion, an official said Wednesday.

Body parts of the councilmembers have been tested, but scientists have been unable to find a bacteria or virus that would cause the councilmembers to swell up and pop, said Becky Caresalot, a spokesperson for the Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. Nor have they found any brain matter or any sign of higher evolved DNA or intelligent life.

"It's absolutely strange," Caresalot said. "We have a really unique story here in Maryland. This phenomenon really doesn't seem to have appeared anywhere before."

The councilmembers have been blowing up since the beginning of the month, filling up like balloons until their heads suddenly burst.

"It looks like a scene from a Frank Capra science-fiction movie," Wilma Magilicutty, the head of a local political science think tank, told the Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle.

Often the phenomena occurs after the councilmember whines at a council meeting at the level of argument practiced by the average juvenile delinquent stuck at the intellectual level of a 2-year-old in a high chair throwing food.

Then the deadly phenomena strikes and "The swelled head councilmembers do not appear to suffer minutes before they finally explode." It is thought that this may be a result of the fact that most councilmembers do not have any feelings, a sense of remorse or accountability for their behavior.

Political scientists and pathologists have come up with several theories, but Caresalot said that most have been ruled out; with the exception that most councilmembers are really space aliens visiting from another planet and that fresh air, new ideas, sunlight and an enlightened environment is the cause of their demise.

Above and beyond pathological narcissism and delusions of grandeur, the councilmembers did not appear to have a disease, and a laboratory in Maryland has ruled out the possibility that it is a fungus that made its way from Washington, D.C., Caresalot said.

Caresalot said that tests will continue. In the meantime, municipal residents and (especially) municipal employees throughout the state have been warned to stay away from councilmembers.

Back to News Index

Copyright © 2005 New Bedford Herald - Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle All Rights Reserved.

art literature of the absurd
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.


[1] Kant Betrue, a Carthaginian whose family settled in Westminster after the Third Punic War, has been with the Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle since the 1960s (he can’t remember exactly when in the 1960s…). A Pulitzer Prize winner for journalism, he writes about issues ranging from the international economy to exploding toilets.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program is best viewed on the New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/133770.html

City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

Fund/Department: Office of Public Safety/Public Works


Account #: G12.6200

Type: Vehicle – Other

Project Name: Little Brother

ID/File #: 1984 - 17

Contact: Mayor Kevin Dayhoff or Air Marshall Steve Shatzer, Westminster Police Department Aviation Wing or Master Sergeant Thomas Beyard, Westminster Air National Guard.

Priority: Urgent

Date: December 9th, 2003

Description: Flir 2000-A Airborne Thermal Imaging System: It has come to our attention that a complete Flir 2000-A Airborne Thermal Imaging System with 1X and 4X Dual F.O.V. Optics has been available for purchase by the City of Westminster, for only $17,500.00. Sold new this unit was approximately $100,000.00. Of course, this new thermal imaging system is best operated on a helicopter – which will be put in the budget under a separate item.

Location: Key Street Lot

Justification: Homeland Defense

Other Remarks and Operating Considerations - A message to would-be Terrorists, Punks and Thugs. We understand how bored you are with the drab monotony of your everyday life. You hate the jobs we make you take to get money, and have nothing but contempt for us. It's obvious that you increasingly reject our morality, along with all restraint. You steal from us, lie to us, break our laws, mock our culture, and sabotage our technology.

We tolerate 'rebels" with all sorts of causes, but you laugh at us and mock us. What you seem to want is revelry without any cause at all. We recognize every "revolution" to make sure you and your friends won't break out of line everywhere at once, your only goal unlicensed pleasure. We're afraid you'd rather be burning banks, looting malls, crating havoc at City Hall or smashing computers than going to work - our demands are what really bring out the violence in you. This game has gone on long enough. Either you win or we will.

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Kevin Dayhoff: www.westgov.net Westminster Maryland Online www.westminstermarylandonline.net http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Monday, July 30, 2001

20010729 Standoff MSP Bill

Westminster Mayor Kevin Dayhoff
Billing Statement

August 7, 2001
Bill To:

Lt. Colonel Bill Arrington
Maryland State Police
Chief - Field Operations Bureau
1201 Reisterstown Road
Pikesville, MD 21208

Date, description of Services:

July 29, 2001, 2:30 AM to 6:30 AM
For Services and Supplies in the matter of the Maryland State Police assisting the Westminster City Police during standoff incident.

Itemized Services Rendered:

Staffing Costs: $7,526.17

Many Police Officers, hours of service
Wee morning hours surcharge
Special English accent surcharge
Out of City limits surcharge

Westminster Fire Depart. Medic Services
Elected official oversight (Mayor's prayers)

Supplies : $2,948.66

Pepper spray
Other herbs and spices
Three bean bags @ $412.37
Bunker shield rental charge
Helicopter landing zone

We are always proud to serve.

God Bless you and the work that you do for our community.


Total: $10,474.83
No sales tax.
Interest at 21% APR for accounts over 15 days.
We accept Master Card and Visa

__________________________________
Westminster Mayor Kevin Dayhoff
PO Box 124, Westminster, MD 21158
kdayhoff@westgov.com

cc: Westminster Police Chief Joneckis
Westminster MSP Barrack Commander Terry Katz
Westminster City Council Public Safety Committee