Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist

Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist
Journalist @baltimoresun writer artist runner #amwriting Md Troopers Assoc #20 & Westminster Md Fire Dept Chaplain PIO #partylikeajournalist

Monday, January 01, 2001

20010100 About the 4H Therapeutic Riding Program of Carroll County

UPDATED: November 2nd, 2006

ALL the information below – AND MORE - is found on the 4-H Therapeutic Riding Program of Carroll County web site at: http://www.trp4h.org/index.html

What is Therapeutic Riding?

Therapeutic riding is an individualized program of learning to ride a horse which takes into account a person's physical, mental, and emotional strengths and limitations. The horses, staff, and volunteers involved in therapeutic riding have all been carefully selected and trained to accommodate the physical, mental, or social disabilities of the rider.

Improved physical strength, balance, mobility and coordination are accomplished through the physical act of riding a horse. Increased attention, concentration, learning, and verbal skills are inherent in learning the skills necessary to ride successfully. Bonding with the horse, making new friends, and respecting authority are some of the social improvements we see. Improvements in self esteem, self control, and confidence also arise from the experience of success in learning to ride. Therapeutic riding is fun and effective!

Mission Statement

The 4-H Therapeutic Riding Program of Carroll County will provide persons with disabilities the opportunity to benefit from a continuous program of therapeutic horseback riding, in a safe environment, under the instruction of professionally trained staff, at a locally available facility.

It is the policy of the MD Cooperative Extension that no person shall be subjected to discrimination on the grounds of race, color, gender, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, age, marital or parental status, or disability.

Who We Are

Our History

The 4-H Therapeutic Riding Program of Carroll County was established in 1978 to provide an opportunity for children and adults with disabilities to benefit from riding horses. Beginning with lessons at a local farm, the program moved to the Ag Center outdoor ring and then to the indoor arena in 1997. Everyone associated with the 4-H Therapeutic Riding Program is a volunteer, including riding instructors, therapists, horse handlers, and side-walkers.

Our horses were originally borrowed and brought to lessons weekly. Now all are donated, loaned or leased to the program. During each session they are stabled and cared for on land loaned by the Farm Museum and then sent to vacation homes. Many are retired from successful careers in the show ring, hunt field, dressage arena, or as schooling horses or backyard ponies. All are trained specifically to work in our therapeutic riding program and handle unusual sights, sounds, and sensations, such as wheelchairs, canes, bouncing balls, unbalanced riders, side-walkers crowding close.

In its 28 years of operation, more than 100 horses and 4000 volunteers have worked together to provide therapeutic riding classes to more than 2000 riders.

What We Do

TRP Today

4-H TRP of Carroll County offers a one-hour lesson of 4 to 6 riders, similar in age or ability, that focuses on individual riding skills while gaining a therapeutic benefit. These benefits include improving muscle tone and strength, improving hand/eye coordination and balance, improving peer interaction and communication, increasing self-esteem, and developing a sense of control. Ten-week sessions are held each fall and spring. Each session seats 45-50 riders using 7 horses, assisted by 50 volunteers. Volunteers accrue more than 1300 hours of service during each session.

At the beginning of each session Instructors establish goals for each rider, working with the rider, parents or guardian. They create a wide variety of activities and exercises designed to increase the student's ability to listen, learn, and communicate.

Riders work on their horsemanship skills and willingness to try new things. Students may be taught how to help groom and tack their horses. Classes include arena riding, trail rides, and group activities.

For some riders this is their competitive sport of choice. They strive to compete at the local, national, and international levels in equestrian sports. 4-H TRP riders regularly compete in horse shows at Freedom Hills, Thorncroft, Devon, Special Olympics, and Maryland Challenged Equestrian Trials.

####

Saturday, December 09, 2000

20001209 Transportation 2nd Biggest Family Exp.

Transportation 2nd Biggest Family Exp.

From: Baltimore Regional Partnership 12/9/2000 Newsletter

TRANSPORTATION SECOND BIGGEST ITEM IN HOUSEHOLD BUDGET

A report released November 30 by the Surface Transportation Policy Project (STPP) finds that households in the Baltimore region spend, on average, 14.7 percent of their budget, or more than $5,000 per year, on day-to-day transportation. That places transportation costs higher than health care, education, food, or any other household expenditure except shelter.

The report, "Driven to Spend," compiled data from the Consumer Expenditure Survey of the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, and found that the poorest fifth of Americans pays a significantly larger percentage of income -- 36 percent—on transportation.

The report shows that 98 percent of day-to-day transportation costs are associated with owning and operating an automobile and that three quarters of those expenses, such as loan and insurance payments, tend to be unrelated to how often or far the car is driven.

The report points out that the most effective way to reduce household transportation costs is to own fewer cars, but that such a choice requires other transportation options to be available.

The report also cautions families that seek so save money on housing by investing in a cheaper house further out in a metropolitan area, pointing out that such a choice may lead to unavoidably larger transportation costs.

Among the report's recommendations is greater government investment in public transportation, bicycle facilities, and walkable neighborhoods, rather than increased highway capacity in outer suburban areas. T

he report also urges employers to provide free or subsidized transit passes to their employees, taking advantage of federal tax incentives and local measures such as Maryland's new Commuter Choice tax credits.

Full text of report available at http://www.transact.org/. Baltimore and other metro fact sheets available at www.transact.org/Reports/driven/metro.asp.

Baltimore, MD

To read the local press release - Click Here

Summary

Ranking: 26
Portion of Family Budget Devoted to Transportation:
14.7%
Annual Household Spending on Transportation:
$5,236
Total Household Expenditures on Transportation in Baltimore: $4.8 billion

Breakdown of Transportation Expenditures


Annual Household Spending

Percent of Total Transportation Expenditures

Vehicle Purchases

$2,236

42.7%

Other Vehicle Expenses

$1,956

37.4%

Gasoline and Motor Oil

$952

18.2%

Public Transportation

$92

1.8%

Breakdown of All Household Expenditures

Households in Baltimore spend more on transportation than on any other category except shelter


Annual Household Spending

Percent of Total Household Expenditures

TRANSPORTATION

$5,236

14.7%

Shelter

$7,304

20.5%

Food

$4,793

13.5%

Utilities

$2,361

6.6%

Other Household

$2,285

6.4%

Insurance & Pensions

$4,773

13.4%

Health Care

$1,600

4.5%

Entertainment

$1,830

5.1%

Apparel & Services

$1,650

4.6%

Education

$657

1.8%

Miscellaneous

$2,806

7.9%


Transportation Choice

Baltimore, has 1.10 miles of hourly transit service per mile of roadway.


Transportation Facts for Baltimore

Annual miles traveled by car per household: 20,170 miles
Percentage of trips taken by car: 82.2%
Percentage of trips taken by transit: 2.6%
Percentage of trips taken by foot: 8.1%
Percentage of trips taken by bicycle: 0.2%

Area covered is Primary Metropolitan Statistical Area (PMSA).
For boundaries, visit
http://www.census.gov/geo/www/mapGallery/ma_1999.pdf

To choose another Metro Area Click Here
To go back to the Driven to Spend homepage,
Click Here

####


Friday, December 08, 2000

20001208 Egg fans uneasy about FDA's 'No over easy' advice

December 8, 2000

In this story:

Waiter! Take back these eggs!

How risky are soft-boiled eggs?

Reducing the risk


By Elizabeth Cohen CNN Medical Correspondent

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- So you order your eggs sunny-side up? Like to sop up the runny yolk with a nice thick piece of toast?

Stop right there. The U.S. government says your breakfast is all wrong.

"You just need to cook your eggs thoroughly -- no sunny side up, no over easy," said Dr. Jane Henney, FDA Commissioner. "This is a case when it's better to be safe than sorry."

Because high temperatures kill salmonella bacteria, the Food and Drug Administration has recently ordered instructions on cartons of eggs telling consumers to cook them "until yolks are firm." But federal health authorities admit this is going to be a hard sell.

"These recipes are traditional -- people wake up to them in the morning. Changing those behaviors is a long and challenging prospect," said Dr. Robert Tauxe, chief of the foodborne and diarrheal disease branch of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

But change them they must, Tauxe said, because one in every 100 U.S. consumers could be exposed to an egg contaminated with salmonella. The CDC estimates that in 1997, tainted eggs caused 90 deaths and 200,000 illnesses.

[…]

This egg controversy is nothing new to New Jersey, where in 1992 the Health Department made it illegal to serve undercooked or raw eggs. Violators could be fined $25 to $100. Hysteria resulted. Consumers bemoaned the governmental intrusion into their breakfast tables. Politicians pointed fingers. The law was quickly changed.

[…]

RELATED STORIES, SITES

Eggnog -- a Renaissance-era comfort food
November 21, 2000
Make food safety a holiday tradition
November 21, 2000
Experts see increased threat from new infectious diseases
April 26, 2000
Researchers find new, drug-resistant strain of salmonella
May 6, 1998


RELATED SITES:

FDA - Egg Safety

CDC - Salmonella enteritidis Infection

American Egg Board

Egg Nutrition Center

Egg safety tips

Even light cooking will begin to destroy any salmonella or other bacteria that might be present in an egg, but proper cooking is necessary to complete the job.

Egg dishes should be cooked slowly over gentle heat to ensure even heat penetration.

For scrambled eggs, omelets and frittatas: cook until the eggs are thickened and no visible liquid egg remains.

Cook fried eggs until the whites are completely set and the yolks begin to thicken but are not hard. To increase the internal temperature the eggs reach, cover the pan with a lid or baste or turn the eggs.

Soft-cooked eggs should be placed in water and heated until the water is at a full, rolling boil. Turn off the heat, cover the pan and let the eggs sit in the hot water about 5 minutes.

Poached eggs should be heated in gently simmering water until the whites are set and the yolks begin to thicken but not harden -- about 3 to 5 minutes.

Hard-boiled eggs easily reach internal temperatures sufficient to kill bacteria. Still, hard-cooked can spoil more quickly than raw eggs. They should be refrigerated promptly after cooking and used within a week.

For soft custards, including cream pie and eggnog, cook egg mixture until it is thick enough to coat a metal spoon with a thin film and a thermometer reads 160 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. After cooking, cool quickly by setting the pan in ice water and stirring. Then refrigerate, covered, for at least an hour.

Source: American Egg Board

Read the entire article here: http://archives.cnn.com/2000/FOOD/news/12/08/egg.labeling/

Tuesday, October 10, 2000

20001011 Halloween Trick or Treating memo for October 31, 2000

Westminster Maryland Halloween Trick or Treating

MEMORANDUM - October 11, 2000

TO: City Council Members

Thomas Beyard

John Dudderar

Chief Roger Joneckis

Carroll County Times

The Baltimore Sun - Carroll County

WTTR Radio

SUBJECT: HALLOWEEN TRICK OR TREATING

As discussed at the Mayor and Council Meeting of Monday, October 9, 2000, Halloween will be observed on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 between the hours of dusk and 8:00 p.m. and is restricted to children age 12 and under plus accompanying parents or adult guardians. Residents who wish to participate by providing treats to the children should turn on their outside light. Children are advised to wear some light colored clothing so as to be more visible to motorists and to go to homes in their immediate neighborhoods with lights. Motorists should pay particular care on the evening of October 31st with so many children walking around City streets.

KENNETH A. YOWAN

Mayor

Monday, September 25, 2000

20000925 Ord 638 Neighborhood Commercial Zone My Thoughts

Ord 638 Neighborhood Commercial Zone My Thoughts

Internal Memo to file - I don't think that I ever mailed it out to anyone….

Ord 638 Neighborhood Commercial Zone My Thoughts

September 25, 2000

Re: Ordinance #638 Adopted by the Westminster City Council on September 25, 2000 which established a Neighborhood Commercial Zone by enacting Text Amendment TA99-1 (Section 164-8 of Chapter 164 of the Westminster City Code).

My Thoughts on the Neighborhood Commercial Zone (Ordinance #638) adopted by the Westminster City Council on September 25th, 2000

I grew up in Westminster (and just outside of Westminster) within walking distance of commercial and industrial employment. Many of my neighbors in my old neighborhood walked to work.

I believe that now more than ever is the appropriate time for the City of Westminster to get away from Euclidean zoning. Born in 1927/1928, Euclidean zoning is 70 years old and really showing its age. This old tired cookie-cutter compartmentalization approach to zoning is causing communities such a Westminster environmental problems, revenue stream problems, quality of life problems and progressive congestive heart disease.

I am a strong proponent of floating zones. Whereas a property can only be re-zoned in the Euclidean zoning approach upon a finding of change or mistake, floating zones can be implemented by elected officials upon a finding of compatibility with a purpose clause accompanied by a development plan.

It is possible to develop commercial and industrial tax base next to existing residential development with very high design and architectural standards that I suggest to you will raise the value of the adjoining residential development. I have toured many such developments in Baltimore, Montgomery and Calvert Counties.

The solution to pollution is dilution. I think it is absolutely absurd to have to drive all the way out to Route 140 to get a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk or pick up a pizza. This is the result of 33 years of Euclidean zoning in the City of Westminster (as zoning was only adopted as a management tool in 1967 for the City of Westminster).

I think that it is extremely important to thank everyone so much for their meaningful participation in the debate about the Neighborhood Commercial Zone.

I think the mark of a successful person is the ability to make the difficult decision. I also believe that it is necessary to collaborate with other meaningful players in an attempt to arrive at conclusions that have the best of the greater common good of the community in mind.

This legislation is a result of a collaborative effort with Damian and Greg, Ed and Suzanne, Ken, the GWDC, the P&Z Commission, many citizens who took the time to give me feedback – pro and con, in a pleasant and rewarding manner - and the Citizens Advisory Group.

I cannot say publicly how uncomfortable I am with the 55,000 square foot component to this legislation. My reconciliation is that anything over 5 acres is really a commercial development anyway and I want to have the opportunity to perpetuate the highest in architectural and design standards to such commercial developments. It is important to me that the text be changed so that it be a floating zone and not tied to the Comprehensive plan but could be applied to a property based upon merit, not change or mistake.

I have labored and labored, and studied and studied, and argued and argued for this Neighborhood Convenience approach for 15 years. It is time to give it a chance to succeed or fail in the real world rather than the intellectual or conceptual world.

Along that line of thought - I'm never reticent to make a mistake – admit it and address the mistake later. Often we can learn more from failure than we can by success. Abraham Lincoln lost 7 elections before he was elected President in 1860. Failure is not fatal…should be part of the education process. Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times. “Democracy means government by discussion but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.” CLEMENT ATTLEE, Anatomy of Britain (1962).

After 15 years of debate, study and analysis, I felt it was critical that we make a decision and move forward. We are on the cutting edge of re-defining the future of zoning – and our community. A future of non-Euclidean zoning that will hopefully bring back grocers and shops into our neighborhoods as it was in the Westminster where I grew up.

Interestingly, contemporary zoning and planning will not allow us to re-create the very communities that gave us our current success and high quality of life. There are going to be some bumps along the road, some disputes and a lot of dialogue. What is important is that we keep talking in a friendly, constructive and productive manner and move forward.

If I had voted against this, it would have killed this issue and this opportunity. It would have died of exhaustion. I would have lost my opportunity to see to fruition a zoning approach other than Euclidean and I would have lost my attempt at changing the municipal cityscape to a more family oriented, family friendly, Neighborhood Convenience approach. An approach that made this community what it is today.

Why people believe that they can promote their agenda or further their cause by being as excruciatingly unpleasant is beyond me! If someone really cares about a particular issue and is polite and pleasant in their discussion - I will listen! - and hopefully learn. I'm always willing to go in what ever the direction that is required, that is in the greater best interest of the greatest number of people in my community.

As always, your thoughtful consideration is appreciated regardless of the outcome on any particular issue. As usual, whether you agree or disagree with me, always find my door open for constructive dialogue.

Best regards


Kevin E. Dayhoff
Westminster City Councilman

Friday, September 22, 2000

20000427 Carroll County Chapter MML Meeting at Union Bridge

20000427 Carroll County Chapter MML Meeting at Union Bridge

Carroll County Chapter

Maryland Municipal League Meeting

April 27, 2000

Minutes


Union Bridge Community Center

4770 Ladiesburg Road

Union Bridge, Maryland

6:00 p.m. Social hour

7:00 p.m. Welcome by Mayor Perry Jones

Pledge to the Flag

Invocation by New Windsor Councilmember Becky Harman

BUSINESS MEETING:

There were 22 in attendance:

Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine, City Councilmembers Jackie Boisvert and Jim McCarron, City Manager Chip Boyles, and Master Municipal Clerk Linda Hess,

New Windsor Mayor Jay Gullo, Councilmembers Becky Harman, Ronnie Blacksten, and Neil Roop

Westminster City Council Member Kevin Dayhoff,

Sykesville Mayor Jonathan Herman, Councilmembers Debby Ellis and Jeannie Nichols,

Mt. Airy Mayor Jerry Johnson

Union Bridge Mayor Perry Jones, Councilmembers Karen Kotarski, Kathy Kriemer and Don Wilson, Town Clerk Violet Hobb,

Manchester Councilmember Mary Minderlein,

Hampstead was not represented.

Maryland Municipal League Director of Research and Information Management Jim Peck, E3 Energy Services, LLC Principal Christopher Cook, Esq.,


Electric Deregulation – Chris Cook. Mr. Cook is a Principal with E3 Energy Service LLC. Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine introduced him. Mr. Cook gave us an overview on the restructured electric industry; bulk purchasing, municipal pooling, municipal aggregation, Carnegie Morgan/ Baltimore City pooling effort, State of Maryland Pool, and BGE price freeze service.


Carroll County Chapter MML Representation to EAAB. There was a presentation by Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff on the history and present status of the Carroll County Environmental Affairs Advisory Board (EAAB). It was moved by Taneytown Councilmember Jim McCarron, seconded by New Windsor Councilmember Neil Roop that each municipality present will consult with our respective municipal councils and see if someone will step forward to be a representative to the EAAB. The motion was carried.


Carroll County Chapter MML Representation to EDC. It was discussed that currently, Hampstead Mayor Chris Nevin and Sykesville Town Manager Matt Candland represent the Carroll County Chapter of the MML with the Economic Development Commission (EDC). It was further decided that Mayor Nevin and Mr. Candland will be consulted to see if they wish to continue in that capacity. Taneytown City Manager Chip Boyles and Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff were selected as replacements if either Mayor Nevin or Mr. Candland do not wish to serve.


Election of Officers.

President: Mt. Airy Mayor Jerry Johnson

Vice President: Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine

Secretary/Treasurer: Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff


Treasurer's Report. Secretary/Treasurer Kevin Dayhoff reported that there is $2,605.40 in the checking account.


Dues: There was some discussion as to whether or not to levy dues from each municipality. If was decided that there would be no dues levied at this time. That the Treasury had enough money in it and it was purposeless to collect money simply for the sake of collecting money.


MML Scholarship Levy: It was discussed that the $2,500 needed for the MML academic scholarship was funded: $1,000 from the MML's statewide office and $1,500 raised from the County Chapter's coffers. It was decided that we would levy each Carroll County town a percentage portion of the $1,500. Mr. Dayhoff asked if it would be acceptable to simply use the formula developed by Sykesville Town Manager Matt Candland in his January 17, 2000 Carroll County Census Committee budget. That was accepted.


Carroll County Municipal Population Percentages (January 17, 2000)

April 27, 2000 Carroll County Chapter MML Scholarship Award Levy







Pro rata share


Mt. Airy (Carroll only)

1.9

7.85%

$ 117.75

Westminster

10.3

42.57%

$ 638.54

Hampstead

2.9

11.98%

$ 179.74

Union Bridge

0.7

2.89%

$ 43.37

Sykesville

2.3

9.50%

$ 142.55

New Windsor

0.8

3.31%

$ 49.57

Manchester

2.1

8.68%

$ 130.15

Taneytown

3.2

13.22%

$ 198.33





Municipal Total

24.2

100%

$ 1,500.00

Carroll County

75.8



Grand total

100




Communications Committee Report: Taneytown City Councilmember Jim McCarron presented the upcoming unveiling of the MML's new book, Maryland's 157, in Annapolis May 5, 2000. He also discussed Arbor Day and Municipal Week.


MML Time – MML Director of Research and Information Management Jim Peck. Mr. Peck discussed the MML Board of Directors Member at Large election at the MML Summer Convention in Ocean City on June 13, 2000.

He also discussed Senate Bill 626 and House Bill 1309: Truth in Taxation – Real Estate Property Tax Assessments.


MML League President Jay Gullo: President Gullo presented Certificates of Appreciation to:

Taneytown City Councilmember Jim McCarron – Communication Committee

Taneytown City Manager Chip Boyles – Communications Committee

Taneytown Mayor Henry Heine – Convention Planning Committee

Taneytown City Councilmember Jackie Boisvert – Convention Planning Committee

Westminster City Councilmember Kevin Dayhoff – Legislative Committee

Union Bridge City Councilmember Karen Kotarski – Elections Committee

Union Bridge Mayor Perry Jones – District Vice President

Sunday, September 17, 2000

20000900 Humor in the Hebrew Bible by Hershey H. Friedman

20000900 Humor in the Hebrew Bible by Hershey H. Friedman

http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/economic/friedman/bibhumor.htm

This paper appeared in Humor: International Journal of Humor Research, Vol. 13:3, Sept. 2000, 258-285. ©2000

Humor in the Hebrew Bible
By Hershey H. Friedman, Ph.D.
Professor of Business and Marketing
Bernard H. Stern Professor of Humor 1997-1999
Brooklyn College of the City University of New York
E-mail:
x.friedman AT att.net
Abstract

This paper demonstrates that the Hebrew Bible contains much humor, albeit mainly subtle and much of it requiring a knowledge of the original language of the Bible, Hebrew. The purpose of this article is not to exhaustively enumerate all instances of humor in the Bible but, rather, to demonstrate that humor permeates the Holy Scriptures. The humorous verses and situations collected in this paper are characterized as belonging to one of the following categories of humor: sarcasm, irony, wordplay, humorous names, humorous imagery and exaggeration, and humorous situations. An examination of the collection in this paper makes evident at least one important purpose of this humor: Humor brings God closer to humankind. For instance, God seems more understandable and less aloof when he is sarcastic. We mortals note that even omniscience and omnipotence do not prevent one from being hurt by straying children. Humorous stories and exaggerations make the moral lessons of the Hebrew Bible more memorable, and the irony behind punishments that are "measure for measure" hints at a world in which justice does truly prevail.

Humor in the Hebrew Bible

Many individuals believe that the Bible, in particular the Hebrew Bible, is without any humor. For example, Alfred North Whitehead was of the opinion that there is no humor in the Old Testament. He claimed that "the total absence of humour from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all of literature" (Price 1954: 199). Whitehead attributed the humorlessness of the Bible to the fact that the ancient Jews were a "depressed people" because of their situation, i.e., continually attacked and overrun by foreign powers. Others, such as Knox (1969), claim that there is much humor in the Hebrew Bible, although it consists mainly of irony. Knox points out that the prophets, in particular, used irony to warn the Jews against the "allurements of pagan civilization." Jemielty (1992) demonstrates that Hebrew prophecy makes use of satire. A major purpose of the satire and sarcasm was to ridicule the evildoer and idolater. Bonham (1988: 38-51) also feels that examining the Bible proves that "God has a sense of humor." Jonsson (1985: 41-50) rejects the opinion that there is no humor in the Hebrew Bible and discusses several examples of Biblical humor, e.g., the story of Jacob and Laban.

There are many different types of humor. These include: puns, wordplays, riddles, jokes, satires, lampoons, sarcasm, irony, wit, black humor, comedy, slapstick, farce, burlesques, caricatures, parody, and travesty. The differences among these different humor types is not always great. In particular, burlesque, caricature, parody, and travesty are very much alike and refer to literary or dramatic works that mimic serious works in order to achieve a humorous or satiric effect. Likewise, the difference between satire and lampoon is not that great. The bottom line is that humor has the ability to make people laugh, smile, or chuckle, at least inwardly. Perhaps it does the same for a divine being.

The idea that even God laughs is mentioned several times in Psalms. In Psalms (2:4), the Psalmist says: "He who sits in heaven will laugh, the Lord will mock them." In Psalms (37:13): "My Lord laughs at him for He sees that his day is coming." In Psalms (59:9): "But as for You, God, You laugh at them; You mock all nations." These verses all indicate that one day the Lord will laugh at evildoers. Of course, the type of laughter described here is not a happy, fun-loving laugh, but a sarcastic, derisive one. The Psalmist is describing a contemptuous, sardonic laugh aimed at the wicked who do not realize the futility of their plots if God does not approve.

Jewish tradition (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 14b) organizes the Hebrew Scriptures into three categories of the canon. The Five Books of Moses, also called the Pentateuch or the Torah, are Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The Prophets consists of eight books, including Joshua, Judges, Samuel, Kings, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Isaiah, and the Twelve Minor Prophets (e.g., Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi). The Writings is comprised of eleven books, including Ruth, Psalms, Job, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Lamentations, Daniel, Esther, Ezra (and Nehemiah), and Chronicles.

The Hebrew Bible employs many sorts of humor, but its purpose is not to entertain. The major goal of the Hebrew Bible is to teach humanity how to live the ideal life. Much of the humor found in the Hebrew Bible has a purpose: To demonstrate that evil is wrong and even ludicrous, at times. The punishments meted out to wrongdoers are often designed to mock them and to hoist them by their own petards.

This paper will demonstrate that the Hebrew Bible contains much humor, albeit mainly subtle and much of it requiring a knowledge of the original language of the Bible, Hebrew. The purpose of this article is not to exhaustively enumerate all instances of humor in the Bible but, rather, to demonstrate that humor permeates the Holy Scriptures. The humorous verses and situations collected in this paper are characterized as belonging to one of several broad categories of humor: sarcasm, irony, wordplay, humorous names, humorous imagery, and humorous situations.


Read the entire paper here: Humor in the Hebrew Bible by Hershey H. Friedman

Tuesday, September 05, 2000

20000904 Cardboard Clergy

Cardboard Clergy

E-mailed to me September 4th, 2000

Dear Sirs,

We are sure you have come across our extremely successful products. We make cardboard police cars to discourage speeding and cardboard security men to deter shoplifters and other standard lines. Following the success of these, we are pleased to announce the introduction of our latest line in cardboard clergy.

MARK 1

The cardboard Parish Priest is invaluable to the hard-pressed clergy who need a holiday. It is life sized, made to measure and comes in traditional (pre - Vatican 2), progressive, and middle of the road models. It is especially effective when stood in the pulpit or at the lectern.

Field trials have shown that when the cardboard PP is installed without the congregation knowing, 40% of those later questioned had noticed no difference, while 25% thought there had been a considerable improvement. The rest said they had slept through the homily as usual.

MARK 2

The cardboard Bishop will be available soon. It can be placed anywhere in a diocese while the real Bishop is away in Rome or elsewhere at a meeting, or just on holiday. Trial models have been installed here and there for some time with great success, so much so in one case, when the real Bishop returned unexpectedly, there were rumours he had developed powers of bi-location.

Work on the cardboard Canon and Monsignor models has been abandoned since market research demonstrated that no one actually wanted the real thing, so there would be little demand for a cardboard substitute.

However, our cardboard congregation is another matter and is now selling well in view of falling Mass attendance. Its response to homilies is indistinguishable from the real thing and it has the positive advantage that when volunteers are asked for, nobody makes a dash for the door. In some churches there has been a marked improvement in the singing.

We commend our quality products for your consideration and hope we can be of assistance to you and your Parish.

Yours sincerely,

Justin Jest -Managing Director.

####

See other posts on "

Friday, August 25, 2000

Learn the Difference Between AFFECT and EFFECT

Learn the Difference Between AFFECT and EFFECT

by Tina Blue August 11, 2000

Confusion between the words affect and effect is so common that I almost never see either of the words used correctly. Since I read anything that doesn't move fast enough to get away from me, and since I read hundreds of essays by college students each semester, I have reason to believe that this error is not just a misspelling, but an actual misapprehension of the two words and how they are used.

Generally speaking, affect is a verb and effect is a noun. When you affect something, you produce an effect on it. Even in the passive voice, something would be affected, not effected.

[…]

Read Ms. Blue’s entire article and see what effect it has on you: Learn the Difference Between AFFECT and EFFECT

20000811 Learn the Difference Between AFFECT and EFFECT
http://grammartips.homestead.com/affect.html
Kevin Dayhoff www.kevindayhoff.net http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/