20050312 Reaching Beyond Our Walls

Reaching Beyond Our Walls

March 12th, 2005 by Westminster Mayor Kevin Dayhoff

Much has been discussed about the sharp differences we currently find in our county, state and nation. I believe that the answer to any challenge we face as a community is in being able to reach beyond our walls and bring a higher more positive spiritual energy to whatever it is we confront.

We were all voted into office to lead by example. We are given a profound trust by the voters to make a difference and contribution. We all face tremendous challenges and we can begin facing up too these challenges by working together.

I understand that as a community leader, I am exposed to points of view, value systems, allegiances, and individual beliefs, which may or may not agree with my own perspectives.

It is important that I conduct myself in an environment of mutual respect and tolerance of others and their viewpoints.

In one of my opportunities to talk with some young school-aged children about being the mayor and a community leader, one of the children asked if politicians do anything else besides “call each other names and be mean to each other”. Now I ask you, just what is it that we are teaching our children?

I’m not sure what we can do about the acrimony and incivility in Annapolis, but I think that all behavior modification in our great state starts at the grass roots level. It starts with how we treat each other right here in our own communities.

Unfortunately, physical and psychological violence is on the rise in our society; where it is frequently portrayed and emphasized by the media as an acceptable way for people to deal with problems. How often do we see featured in the media, the one person in the community meeting that attempted to promote their agenda by being impolite, loud, bizarre and disagreeable.

Although contextually trite, and compositionally gravely wounded by a preachy and overly simplistic plot, the 1939 Frank Capra – Capra-corn Classic, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" is one of America's best-remembered political films of the 1930s, if not for all time. I have never liked this gooey movie.

Inspired by the contemporary media and schlock like this out of Hollywood, today's Americans are more cynical than ever about government and politics. If you will recall, in “Mr. Smith”, Jefferson Smith saves the day in the climax of the movie by acting like a crazed lunatic.

Such unfortunate motivators as "Mr. Smith" has encouraged subsequent generations that they can make a difference and promote their agenda by being rude, loud, impolite, bizarre and disagreeable.

Participatory grass roots democracy, open and transparent dialogue is not for the weak of heart. However, if we have learned anything from history, hopefully we have learned that name-calling, pointing fingers, rumor mongering and being impolite, loud, bizarre and disagreeable is not the best way of solving problems.

It is extremely important that we explore alternative ways of peace, positive conflict resolution and nonviolence. It is not necessarily the challenge that counts nearly as much as the thoughtful and well considered response to the challenge.

Dr. King set an example for all of us that is just as valid today as it was many years ago. He showed us that leadership is often promoting change by leading the community to a place that it may not understand it needs to go; in an era when petty politics is all about figuring out whom to co-opt, malign and blame.

A leader like King used his power to forge a solution that involved mutual respect, love and understanding.

We can all work together to reduce the incidences of physical and psychological violence in our community by using non-violent conflict resolution skills and leading by example by demonstrating behavior that express feelings without harming, learning to accept the feelings of others, finding compromise, and building consensus.

If we are looking for answers to address the incivility in our state, one place to start is by looking at our own behavior. Consider the example you set for your child, your friends, neighbors and fellow citizens.

I think that the answer lies in the ability to listen with respect to those with whom we deeply disagree, in an attempt to catch in their remarks some truth we may have missed, in order to find a meaningful compromise.

I worry that there is not much that we can do about our state and national leaders not being civil, but our families and community cannot prosper if society fails and we do not rediscover some sense of civility and practice daily acts of kindness to one another. We can do it now, by starting right here at home.

I believe that the answer to any challenge we face as a community is in being able to reach beyond our walls and bring a higher more positive spiritual energy to whatever it is we confront. When we do, slowly, inch-by-inch, we will become a better society, a better people, and a better world. By working together we can all do better.

And I think that is happening. I work for you. Let the progress continue.

As always, your thoughtful consideration is appreciated regardless of the outcome on any particular issue. Whether we agree or disagree, always find my door open for friendly civil and constructive dialogue.

Kevin Dayhoff, Mayor of Westminster
Home Office: P. O. Box 1245
Westminster, MD 21158
kdayhoff@carr.org