20071219 This week in The Tentacle

This week in The Tentacle

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Playing “The War on Christmas” Card

Kevin E. Dayhoff

Fortunately, this year in “The War on Christmas,” no overwhelming weapons of mass Christmas destruction have materialized and it appears that Christmas is winning. And that’s a good thing.

The Chesapeake Bay

Tom McLaughlin

It absolutely can’t be that dirty. No way. The Chesapeake Bay that is. All the information flowing in says the waterway is a cesspool complete with garbage floating on top of its entire length and breath. There are no fish. Anyone catching any are having hallucinations and eating imaginary meals. The water quality sucks with a capital “S.”

Why Be a Republican? – Part 2

Farrell Keough

Aim towards the Enemy. [Instructions printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher]

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Today's Uneasy Iraq

Roy Meachum

Holiday seasons are ever thus: intent on buying gifts and celebrating the season, few Americans notice what's happening in the rest of the world.

Why Be a Republican? – Part 1

Farrell Keough

What is the similarity between an air traffic controller and a pilot? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; if the air traffic controller screws up…, the pilot dies. [Anonymous]

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Monday, December 17, 2007

The Delegation Workload – Part 3

Richard B. Weldon Jr.

We’ve already examined the county commissioner’s legislative wish list; now it’s time to turn our attention to the other groups seeking legislative support in Annapolis.

Homeland Security Fails I-270

Steven R. Berryman

Commuters traversing the Frederick to DC highway corridor via Interstate 270 suffer the agony still falling from the 1956 Defense Highway Act. The overcapacity delays cause average speeds to be reduced during rush hour to 30 M.P.H., costing a total of six entire man-years of time to be wasted every day.

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Friday, December 14, 2007

Another "White Christmas"

Roy Meachum

Some cable channel – I don't remember which – has programmed "White Christmas." Again. The movie is a rework of "Holiday Inn," the wartime flick that introduced the world's greatest secular carol to the world.

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Slots, again, with apologies to Will

Tom McLaughlin

Joy filled the streets of Ocean City as the hotel owners sang “We’re in the Money, We’re in the Money” as everyone thought slots parlors would open in Frederick County. Everything would return to normal. Condo and hotel owners would charge the same high prices and the boardwalk shops would not have to compete with the vacationers’ last penny after being gouged by rents.

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Writers Strike and Christmas

Kevin E. Dayhoff

For those who are fans of early television, especially old Christmas movies and holiday specials, the strike by The Writers Guild of America, which began November 5, may have a temporary silver lining.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Democrats Divide Again

Roy Meachum

Comedian and cowboy Will Rodgers coined one of my favorite sayings: "I belong to no organized political party: I'm a Democrat."

The Delegation’s Workload – Part 2

Richard B. Weldon Jr.

We’ve already looked at the county commissioners’ bill proposals that the county’s legislative delegation will wrestle with, now we’ll consider the bills that affect the whole state, not just our county. These face a much more difficult, if not impossible, path to passage. We’ll also take a gander at the policy statements of the Board of County Commissioners.

10 Dumb Questions I Get – Part 3

Nick Diaz

Readers may be glad to know that this is the last segment of the series on the 10 dumb questions asked of a motorcyclist; the first six of these questions appeared in the first two parts. Today we’ll round the set with the last four.

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Monday, December 10, 2007

The Delegation’s Workload – Part 1

Richard B. Weldon Jr.

It hardly seems possible, but we’re less than a month away from the start of the 2008 General Assembly session. Last week, I included a highlight of the Board of County Commissioners legislative package. If you’re anything like the dozens of people who approached me this past week, you’re looking for more information, so here goes.

Jingoist Bells, Jingoist Bells…

Steven R. Berryman

…Jingo all the way. When did patriotism become a negative attribute of Americans, and why isn’t Pat Buchanan running for president in 2008? The advanced press for his new book, Day Of Reckoning, reads more like a campaign platform than it does a plot; his compilation of issues and proposed solutions leaves one feeling a patriotic sense of hope for us all again, so long as his warnings are positively received.

WE GET LETTERS!

WE GET LETTERS!!! A Walkersville resident takes issue with Steve Berryman's treatise on the Supreme Court's decision to hear the matter of the gun ownership law in Washington, DC. CLICK HERE!!! CLICK HERE!